This week I celebrate 1 YEAR SURVIVING-STRIVING-THRIVING with cancer. On November 8, 2017 my doctor called with the news: “Non-small cell, metastatic carcinoma… stage 4… possible surgery…” One of the worst calls ever, heart exploding in my chest, and I was sitting in my car in the Target parking lot of all places.
Well guess where I was on November 8, 2018? Mexico, fools! Karla’s sister Kristin graciously gifted us with this blissful trip to Cancun, and we lived and loved it well. Time in the sun, snorkeling, drinks on the beach, lazy afternoon naps in the shade… all of it so heavenly.
So in honor of 1 year, f#ck cancer. And by “f#ck cancer,” I don’t just mean damn the disease, though to be clear I’m cheering for the team that will truly f#ck cancer up. I also mean “F#ck living like the end is in sight.” I’m not done. I’ve got fight left in me, even as I move toward disability, and so I embrace the call and wonder of being alive and wondering what’s next. So f#ck cancer and f#ck the thought that Karla and I won’t be somewhere awesome next year, loving on each other and casting dreams for 2020.
To everyone who has been light and love to me this year, you are healing, you are hope, you are courage, you are screaming banshee warriors, you are mine and I claim you with triumph and gladness, again and again. Thank you and all my love!
I have stage IV lung cancer and I write about that here. If you're out there and you're fighting cancer, solidarity. If you read "lung cancer" and you wonder if I was a smoker, read this. Living with cancer is a daily, death-defying reality - one that pushes me to not simply defy death, but to affirm life, bless goodness, cheer for wonder, celebrate beauty... you get the idea. I hope I do that here.